Resources

Sex Therapy books

Female Sexuality & other Vulva Owners

Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski, PhD
Better Through Sex Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire by Lori A. Brotto, PhD
Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters and How to Get It by Laurie Mintz, PhD

Infidelity

Female Sexuality & other Vulva Owners

The New Monogamy by Tammy Nelson, PhD
When You’re The One Who Cheats: Ten Things You Need To Know by Tammy Nelson, PhD
Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity by Esther Perel

Kink, BDSM, & Sex Positivity

Female Sexuality & other Vulva Owners

Kink, BDSM, & Sex Positivity

The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge by Tristan Taormino
The Topping Book by Easton & Lizst
The Bottoming Book by Easton & Lizst
The Heart of Dominance: A Guide to Practicing Consensual Dominance by Anton Fulmen.
Sex Positive Now: Everything You Need to Know About Sex Positivity by Allena Gabosch & Jeremy Shub

Nonmonogamy & Polyamory

Sexual Dysfunction, Disability, Pain, and Chronic Illness

Kink, BDSM, & Sex Positivity

The Ethical Slut by Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton
It’s Called Polyamory: Coming out about your nonmonogamous relationships by Tamara Pincus and Rebecca Hiles
The Jealousy Workbook: Exercises and insights for managing open relationships by Kathy Labriola
More Than Two: A Practical Guide To Ethical Polyamory by Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert

Sexual Dysfunction, Disability, Pain, and Chronic Illness

Sexual Dysfunction: Coping with Premature Ejaculation by Michael E. Metz, PhD and Barry McCarthy, PhD
Coping with Erectile Dysfunction by Michael E. Metz, PhD and Barry McCarthy, PhD
Sex and Cancer: Intimacy, Romance, and Love After Diagnosis and Treatment by Saketh R. Guntupalli, MD, and Maryann Karinch
Aches, Pains, and Love: A Guide to Dating and Relationships for Those with Chronic Pain and Illness by Kira Lynn
The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability by Kaufman, Silverberg, and Odette
Reclaiming Sex and Intimacy After Prostate Cancer: A Guide for Men and their Partner's by Jeff Albaugh
A Quick & Easy Guide To Sex & Disability by A. Andrews

Sexual Pleasure

Sexual Dysfunction, Disability, Pain, and Chronic Illness

Sexual Awareness by Barry McCarthy, PhD and Emily McCarthy
The Heart of Tantric Sex: A Unique Guide to Love and Sexual Fulfilment by Diana Richardson
The Pleasure Zone: Why we resist good feelings & how to let go and be happy by Stella Resnick, PhD
The Guide to Getting It on by Paul Joannides
She Comes First by Ian Kerner, PhD
Getting the Sex You Want by Tammy Nelson, PhD
Good Sex: Getting Off Without Checking Out by Jessica Graham
Sexual Intelligence: What we really want from sex and how to get it by Marty Klein, PhD
Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life by Justin Lehmiller, PhD
The Ultimate Guide to Seduction & Foreplay: Techniques and Strategies for Mind-Blowing Sex by Jessica O'Reilly, PhD & Marla Renee Stewart, MA
The Orgasm Answer Guide by Barry R. Komisaruk, Beverly Whipple, Sara Nasserzadeh & Carlos Beyer-Flores

For Psychotherapists & Sex Therapists

LGBTQ Clients in Therapy: Clinical Issues and Treatment Strategies by Joe Kort, PhD Cognitive -Behavioral Therapy for Sexual Dysfunction by Michael E. Metz, Norman B. Epstein, and Barry McCarthy
A Therapist’s Guide to Consensual Nonmonogamy: Polyamory, Swinging, and Open Marriage by Rhea Orion
Integrative Sex and Couples Therapy: A Therapist’s Guide to New and Innovative Approaches by Dr. Tammy Nelson, Ph.D.
Imago Relationship Therapy by Rick Brown Principles and Practice of Sex Therapy 5th ed, by Binik and Hall
Supporting Transgender and Non-Binary People with Disabilities or Illnesses: A Good Practice Guide for Health and Care Provision by Jennie Kermode
Sex Therapy with Erotically Marginalized Clients: Nine Principles for Client Support by Damon M. Constantinides, Shannon L. Sennott, and Davis Chandler
What Every Mental Health Professional Needs to Know About Sex by Stephanie Buehler
The Modern Clinician's Guide to Working. with LGBTQ+ Clients: The Inclusive Psychotherapist by Margaret Nichols.

1. Practice Breathing Techniques & Mindfulness

Consider using Square Breathing (4x4) to start. You can find many more guided breathing and meditation exercises online. How To Do Square Breathing:- Begin by slowly exhaling all of your air out. - Then, gently inhale through your nose to a slow count of 4. - Hold at the top of the breath for a count of 4. - Then gently exhale through your mouth for a count of 4. - At the bottom of the breath, pause and hold for the count of 4.

2. Use CBT Techniques to ‘Name it’, ‘Check the Facts’, & ‘Reframe’

The way we interpret negative events has the power to mitigate or exacerbate our anxiety in significant ways. STEP 1: Name It To Tame It: Identify the negative thought or belief that you're noticing. In this current climate, we may be catastrophizing (jumping to the worst case scenario) or overgeneralizing (making sweeping assumptions without facts). Simply labeling our thoughts can tame them and allow us to take a step back. STEP 2: Check The Facts: Acknowledge what we know for sure and use credible sources and information to help remind us of the current moment and not the potential unknown outcome. STEP 3: Reframe the Situation: The reframe does not need to be 'best case scenario', we simply want a more accurate and supportive reflection of the present moment.

For example: WORRY #1: “I live in a highly populated city, a virus could spread to me quickly." REFRAMED: "I feel healthy right now and my city has a lot of infrastructure and resources in place to face a challenge like this." WORRY #2: “I’m pregnant and may be susceptible to severe symptoms if I contract the virus." REFRAMED: "I have a well-informed healthcare provider who will let me know if or when I need to make changes." WORRY #3: “I should not have left my home today. Anyone could threaten my health." REFRAMED: "I’m doing the best I can, and so are the people around me."

3. Journal

A great way to reinforce some of the CBT techniques is to write them down. Additionally, having a journaling practice during a time like this can be deeply therapeutic and beneficial.

4. Activities

While the obvious way to distract ourselves right now is to binge watch every show and movie available, let's take this opportunity to get creative. Breakout the Art Supplies Consider painting, drawing or collaging some images that you find beautiful, inspiring and soothing. Get Some Exercise. Dust off the yoga mat at home, take a brisk walk or run outside, take a bike ride, or utilize the many online exercise options out there. Puzzles, Board Games and Cards. These are all great ways to feel stimulated and engaged too!

5. Attend Therapy Sessions via Telehealth

Whether you’re beginning or continuing therapy, it's important to have a touchstone right now for support and stability. Stay connected to loved ones in small settings or via Facetime, text and email as well. I am offering sessions online.

Website & Book Recommendations by Maria

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Additional Resources

Additional Resources

Additional Resources

Sex Therapy books

Female Sexuality & other Vulva Owners

Female Sexuality & other Vulva Owners

Female Sexuality & other Vulva Owners

Infidelity

Female Sexuality & other Vulva Owners

Female Sexuality & other Vulva Owners

Kink, BDSM, & Sex Positivity

Female Sexuality & other Vulva Owners

Kink, BDSM, & Sex Positivity

Nonmonogamy & Polyamory

Sexual Dysfunction, Disability, Pain, and Chronic Illness

Kink, BDSM, & Sex Positivity

Sexual Dysfunction, Disability, Pain, and Chronic Illness

Sexual Dysfunction, Disability, Pain, and Chronic Illness

Sexual Dysfunction, Disability, Pain, and Chronic Illness

Sexual Pleasure

Sexual Dysfunction, Disability, Pain, and Chronic Illness

Sexual Dysfunction, Disability, Pain, and Chronic Illness

For Psychotherapists & Sex Therapists

For Psychotherapists & Sex Therapists

For Psychotherapists & Sex Therapists

1. Practice Breathing Techniques & Mindfulness

2. Use CBT Techniques to ‘Name it’, ‘Check the Facts’, & ‘Reframe’

3. Journal

4. Activities

5. Attend Therapy Sessions via Telehealth

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